


Hard Unsanctified Desire

by the_rck



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Consensual Non-Consent, Dream Sex, Established Relationship, M/M, Psychological risk taking, Rape Roleplay, Shared Dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 20:49:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15203192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_rck/pseuds/the_rck
Summary: The landscape consisted entirely of black lines on a white background. Trees, hills, a deep ravine on the right, all done as outlines and white space. Tony stood in front of a cave entrance. He knew, more or less, what waited within, and he wanted very badly to turn and run, but he knew he wouldn’t, not tonight.Some nights, Loki wanted that, but Tony could tell that it wasn’t on tonight’s agenda. He’d have started somewhere else if it were.Tony was asleep. He knew that, too. He always knew that. It just didn’t help him at all. He’d never admit it, not even to himself, but anything that would ‘help’ would be decidedly unwelcome. He desperately wanted to be there and very desperately wanted not to be. If he had a choice, he’d have to be responsible and say no. If he could say no, the whole thing would be wrong.





	Hard Unsanctified Desire

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SilverShepard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverShepard/gifts).



> Title from Mary Elizabeth Coleridge's “The Other Side of the Mirror.”
> 
> Set before Thor: The Dark World but after Avengers.
> 
> Thanks to Prinzenhasserin for beta reading.

The landscape consisted entirely of black lines on a white background. Trees, hills, a deep ravine on the right, all done as outlines and white space. Tony stood in front of a cave entrance. He knew, more or less, what waited within, and he wanted very badly to turn and run, but he knew he wouldn’t, not tonight.

Some nights, Loki wanted that, but Tony could tell that it wasn’t on tonight’s agenda. He’d have started somewhere else if it were.

Tony was asleep. He knew that, too. He always knew that. It just didn’t help him at all. He’d never admit it, not even to himself, but anything that would ‘help’ would be decidedly unwelcome. He desperately wanted to be there and very desperately wanted not to be. If he had a choice, he’d have to be responsible and say no. If he could say no, the whole thing would be wrong.

He could say no. Right at this moment, he could. It was just easier to get past the shouldn’t-trust-the-asshole-who-tried-to-conquer-the-world part if it wasn’t a choice, and the thing he wanted most-- having no control at all-- required that he have no choice. Knowing that Loki _could_ force him was enough to make Tony’s heart beat faster.

Even in dreams, Tony Stark shouldn’t get hard at the realization that he was about to be fucked raw by Loki, once Prince of Asgard. He shouldn’t want Loki at all, shouldn’t fall asleep wondering if it would be a night when he got lucky. He shouldn’t wish that there was a way he and Loki could meet in the real world.

Loki in the real world murdered people and made them murder each other. In a dream, Tony could pretend that that part wasn’t relevant because all the rest vanished when he woke.

Besides, someone would notice if Tony regularly got as messed up in the physical world as he was expecting he would tonight. He shouldn’t regret that none of his bruises would come home with him, not when it meant that the rest of his world didn’t have to deal with Loki.

Better if he really couldn’t say no. Simpler. He wasn’t inviting fire into his life, just being engulfed by things that were burning. Choice had ethical and moral implications. Choice accepted that he might be risking more than himself.

He wasn’t the man who’d risk everything for the hell of it, just because the current moment promised to be spectacular. Not anymore, not for a very long time. He had accepted his responsibilities and his power. In the waking world.

Here, he had none of those burdens because he was a prisoner, because he was spoils of war, because he was a slave or a toy or a thing. It wasn’t safe or sane; it couldn’t be if it gave him what he actually needed, and it was a dream, so he wasn’t actually letting Loki pull him in over his head.

They had already pulled each other further in than that. Land was no longer in sight.

He took a deep breath as he stepped into the darkness. By the time he’d taken three steps, he’d lost the light from the entrance. He made each step as firm as if he were sure of his footing, as if he knew exactly what would happen next.

As if being surprised weren’t part of the appeal.

The hand on his throat, lifting him from the ground, wasn’t new, but Tony hadn’t expected it. His hands gripped Loki’s arm and pulled. He could breathe, but he couldn’t escape. 

Tony kicked with all of his strength. He knew it wouldn’t help, but fighting and losing meant proof that none of this was because he’d chosen it. He felt his feet connect and heard Loki grunt in response. Tony allowed himself a split second of satisfaction.

“You’re going to regret that,” Loki said softly. The menace in his voice went straight to Tony’s cock.

Tony wanted very badly to tell Loki how very hot it all was, but that would be breaking the rules. Instead, he kicked Loki again.

A moment later, Tony was face down with Loki’s weight on top of him. The surface under his cheek felt cold and hard and rough, a lot like unfinished concrete. It smelled a little dusty.

“You’re wearing too damned much,” Loki said.

Tony bucked and twisted as if there were some hope that that might let him escape. He snarled defiance.

Loki laughed. He sounded wild and terrifying.

Tony went still as he remembered that, for all Loki was a Jotunn, he was also, traditionally, God of Fire-- completely essential for survival and constantly threatening to devour everything. Just for a moment, Tony wondered if this was the night when he’d never find morning, the night when Loki would simply keep him. He shuddered. The idea that he was risking forever was one of the reasons he kept coming back.

Tony couldn’t escape now by waking, but, if he had tried to wake rather than stepping into the darkness, Loki would have let him be for a full week, more than long enough for Tony to be desperate for another chance.

He’d refused more than once-- both to see if he could and because, if he was in the middle of saving the world on twenty minute catnaps, caffeine, and sheer brilliance, the timing was just plain bad-- but he’d never risked-- or needed to risk-- refusing twice in a row.

“I want to watch you strip,” Loki said. His teeth closed on Tony’s earlobe hard enough to draw blood. 

Tony choked on a sharp sound of pain and closed his eyes

After Loki released Tony’s earlobe, Loki said, “We both know you don’t have any choice about losing the clothing.” He sounded viciously amused. “I could tear them or cut them or burn them, but tonight… Tonight, I want you to crawl. I want you to bare yourself for me. I want you to bend over, bare-assed, and wait for my cock.”

Tony swallowed hard. He could fight, but Loki was right-- Tony didn’t have a choice. Loki was stronger and faster and, somehow, in their shared dreams, much larger than Tony was. Tony could beg, too, but he wasn’t sure he could bear the shame of that, not this early in the night. Later, when it felt like Loki’d been fucking him for days, Tony would beg. He always did, eventually, but only when he couldn’t stop himself any more.

Loki never stopped when Tony begged. Loki usually smiled and kissed Tony into silence, but Loki wouldn’t stop until Loki’d had enough. How long the night ought to be wouldn’t matter. The limits of Tony’s endurance wouldn’t matter.

Tony had no idea if Loki could keep fucking for anything like this long in the physical world. He wanted to find out, but he was also afraid of what that would mean. There was a chance-- probably more than a chance-- that, if Loki knocked on Tony’s door sometime when they were both awake, Tony would bow his head and kneel. If Loki asked Tony to leave everything to join him, Tony might.

He hoped he wouldn’t, but he might.

Loki hadn’t asked for anything but this. No rescues from Asgardian prison, no help in taking over a world, no information, no research or resources. None of the myriad other things that Tony Stark could potentially provide but might feel he shouldn’t. Loki wanted Tony. The Stark part seemed to be irrelevant except as a name Loki could use for certain types of dirty talk. For some reason, Tony felt more helpless and violated when Loki called him ‘Stark’ and more-- ‘loved’ was completely the wrong word-- something else entirely when Loki called him ‘Tony.’

Tony opened his eyes and wasn’t surprised that he could see. Loki might keep him in darkness, sometimes, but they both knew the power of things seen. He couldn’t tell much about where they were, not from his current position, but the floor really was bare concrete. The legs of the furniture were square, dark, wooden, and heavy. Everything looked big and impossible to move.

He swallowed hard again and gave the barest nod. Sometimes, they both got off on Tony fighting and losing, but if Loki wanted Tony to surrender now, Tony would.

Loki’s hands pressed down hard on Tony’s shoulders, making Tony even more aware of the hardness of the floor under them. Loki ground his crotch against Tony’s ass, and Tony couldn’t quite keep himself from pushing back and making a small noise of want.

Then Loki’s weight was gone from Tony’s body. Tony gave himself half a second to pull his head together then pushed himself to his knees. He looked over his shoulder and up at Loki for a moment and licked his lips.

Loki’s eyes narrowed. His left hand twitched.

Tony swallowed a smile. He’d certainly regret it later, but if Loki’s lust overcame his patience, Tony would count it a win.

Tony wasn’t the only one playing with fire, and getting burned was kind of the point.

Tony pushed one hand inside the waist of his jeans and slowly tugged his t-shirt loose. He bared a little skin then let the cloth fall as he pulled the next bit out. He kept his eyes on Loki’s face, trying to judge the other man’s response.

One corner of Loki’s mouth twitched. “I’d tell you that every second you take will increase how long this night lasts--” He took one step toward Tony. “--but we both know you want that.”

Tony went completely still. Admitting that was breaking the unspoken terms of this… arrangement. He made himself inhale twice before he replied. He bowed his head. “If that’s what you want.” He let a little of his need into his voice.

“Yes.” The word was almost gentle. “You belong to me, don’t you?”

Tony’s hands clenched in the fabric of his shirt. “Please, don’t.” He tried to make it mean, “Yes, I know,” because that wasn’t something he could actually say. He also knew he couldn’t say, “Please, don’t make me choose,” because that was admitting that he had a choice.

“Strip.” Loki’s voice had become hard enough to bruise.

Tony removed his shirt in one rapid movement and tossed it aside. He had to stand to remove his jeans, but he kept his head bowed until he was on his knees again. In the absence of the restraining denim, Tony’s arousal was unmistakable.

“You don’t become less attractive over time.” Now Loki sounded thoughtful. “I’d expected to be bored of you by now, but I still enjoy fucking you, and you’re by far the most intriguing of my options for… anything else.” His hand came to rest on the top of Tony’s head. “Some day, you’ll walk in here, and I won’t let you leave again.” His hand gripped Tony’s hair and tugged.

Tony’s cock twitched, and he couldn’t keep himself from groaning. He knew he should be afraid. He knew it was a threat, but it was also a promise.

“I’ll have every part of your body any time I want it--” Loki sounded as if the prospect was the most enticing thing he’d ever encountered. “--and I’ll have your mind, too.” He went down on one knee and pressed his clothed body against Tony’s right side. “You want that, too, don’t you, Tony?”

He did. God, help him. He did. He nodded once before he could stop himself.

Tony supposed that some part of him was smart enough to know what he’d be giving up by saying no.

Loki traced a finger along Tony’s jaw. “That’s for another time. Not tonight. Probably not for a while yet-- as you measure such things-- but also probably not all that long either. Consider it. Remember it. Anticipate it.”

Tony shuddered but leaned into Loki’s touch. He only resisted for a fraction of a second as Loki pushed him forward until his face was pressed to the floor again. He whimpered as Loki worked fingers into his ass. It wasn’t because those fingers weren’t gentle-- though they weren’t-- but rather because that meant that Loki intended to fuck Tony in Jotunn form.

Loki was never gentle, and his cock in Jotunn form was large enough that gentleness wouldn’t help much.

Tony shouldn’t want that so desperately, but it was proof that what he wanted didn’t matter in the face of what Loki wanted. Being nothing but a hole for Loki to fuck would let Tony forget Loki’s threat-- promise? -- of a future that looked nothing like the present.

Tony could be and might even be able to admit to wanting to be Loki’s fucktoy, but Loki had asked for something else. Loki wanted the real world, and he wanted Tony, not just Tony’s body.

Which meant that Tony was going to have to decide whether he wanted everything that came with Loki.

Loki didn’t require any cooperation to get Tony on his back on a hard, wooden table. He wouldn’t have needed it in human form and certainly didn’t need it in Jotunn form. Tony resisted just enough to prove to himself that it was futile. It was. It always was.

Loki used one hand to pin Tony’s wrists to the table above his head and murmured a few words.

Tony pulled and twisted as he felt Loki’s magic clamp down on his hands and wrists. He could feel the constriction and knew that it was carefully judged-- enough that Tony couldn’t forget it was there but not enough to damage him.

Loki removed his hand from Tony’s wrists and planted it on Tony's belly, spread the fingers wide. He pressed hard enough that Tony had to work to draw breath. “We can always have this part. Possibly less often, but I could draw out a night to make months.” Loki bared his teeth.

‘Months’ was much longer than a single night usually stretched. A day or two or three but not weeks, not months. Never that long since the early days of their dream meetings. Never since the first time Loki got Tony off and showed him how to wake up.

Tony stared at Loki's mouth and wondered how deep those teeth would go into his flesh and which parts of him would bleed. He tried not to listen to the part of his mind that pointed out that months wouldn't just be fucking, that it wasn’t ever just fucking when time stretched to be longer than it should, that Loki was more dangerous-- and even more seductive-- when they simply talked. Everything had started with talks that stood out in Tony’s memory as making just a little too much sense for dreams. Talking to kissing to… the ways that Tony’s fantasies fit just so with Loki’s. Tony’d taken longer to guess that he was playing with the real Loki than he probably should have. He hadn’t wanted to accept it.

Tony bared his own teeth and managed a laugh that was only a little wild. He said, “I don't believe you,” in a way that meant yes to stretching time but didn’t address the other, larger question.

Loki heard it, of course. “A challenge? I can't have you doubt me.” He wrapped his other hand around Tony’s cock and squeezed. Loki’s skin in Jotunn form was thicker and rougher than in human form. As Loki moved his hand along Tony’s shaft, the ridges and calluses on Loki’s fingers caught and pulled on Tony’s skin with tiny bits of sharpness.

Tony bit his lip so that he wouldn’t respond audibly, but he didn’t even try to keep his hips still.

Loki laughed. “So very desperate for it.” His thumb pressed down on the slit of Tony’s cock. “Beg.”

Tony shook his head, more because he couldn’t find words right then than because he wanted to disobey. He managed something halfway between a whine and a whimper as Loki’s thumb pressed harder.

“You’re going to be so beautifully wrecked in an hour or two.” Loki’s free hand caressed Tony’s abdomen. “That’s the best time to fuck you. Right now’s good, but then-- when you’re sore and exhausted and you want more so badly and don’t want more so badly-- that’s when we both know what you are. I’m going to keep fucking you until I get bored.” His hand moved on Tony’s cock, and Tony felt as if that contact was reaching into him to pull out his orgasm, as if it were something that belonged to Loki, something that Tony would never control again.

For several seconds after he came, Tony couldn’t breathe. He didn’t-- couldn’t-- struggle as Loki folded and bound his legs so that they were up and apart. He couldn’t see what held his legs, but he could feel it, and he saw dents in his thighs where the cords of magic pressed hardest. If they’d been in the real world, that pressure might damage him. Here, it simply reminded him that he had legs and that they didn’t want to be where they were.

Tony wanted it. Every bit of discomfort reminded him that he was powerless. His ‘yes’ wouldn’t matter any more than his ‘no’ did. Every sensation was an anchor to his body, something that kept any part of his mind from escaping.

Here, everything that hurt was deliberate. Here, no injury was permanent. Reality was malleable. Every bruise, every cut, lasted as long as Loki wished, and Loki was a master at controlling shared dreams. Tony had learned a little. More than a little, really. He just pretended he hadn’t. Most of the time.

He trusted Loki enough to be sure that he wasn’t going to need that knowledge to fight him. Tony just wanted to know how everything worked and to master the skills that went along with that.

They weren’t going to fight each other, but if Tony had to, he could. He would. He was pretty sure that Loki knew. He was pretty sure, too, that an actual mind-to-mind fight here would destroy both of them. Loki certainly must know that, too, and trust Tony not to betray him that way either.

Could that translate to the real world? Mutual assured destruction. Cold war. Would they fight by proxy so that they could pretend they weren’t?

Tony had no idea what Loki wanted in the real world.

Part of him wanted to stop and to ask. The rest of him was dry mouthed and watching the Jotunn looming over him.

Then Tony was screaming, and all he could think about was how much the thing in his ass hurt.

Loki was large enough in Jotunn form that Tony always screamed the first time Loki’s cock forced its way into him. Tony never got used to it. His body never welcomed it. Doing either would have meant losing part of what he wanted.

Part of what they both wanted.

Tony had to scream, and Loki had to not care. Loki had to keep going, had to take what he desired and leave Tony to endure.

Tony felt that enormous cock deeper inside his gut than anything ought to go. He knew that, if he raised his head, he’d see his belly bulging from the size of it. He’d do that later on when the feeling of being stretched and full wasn’t quite so overwhelming. He’d do that at the point when he was starting to feel like this might be ordinary.

Even in dreams, there was never anything ordinary about a human getting fucked by a Jotunn.

Tony only recognized the sounds he was making because he’d heard himself make them before. Pain, desperation, desire, and surrender. Complete surrender. He was glad that Loki was the only other person to hear; Loki had heard all of these noises before, too. He knew perfectly well what Tony was and what Tony wanted to be.

Loki smiled. “Every time like the first time except that you know what’s coming.” He caressed one of Tony’s legs as he pulled out a little then thrust deeper. Loki’s fingers closed on Tony’s calf with bruising force as Loki groaned. Loki didn’t say anything else for several seconds, just kept fucking Tony. “A body for sin,” he said softly, “and a mind for victory.”

Tony didn’t register the meaning of the words at the time, but he remembered them later. “Please--” He forced the word out. “Please stop. Please.” He knew it was hopeless. He put hope in escrow each time he came here. He shuddered with the effort of keeping himself from trying to pull away. He tried and failed to swallow a sob. He hurt, and he was helpless, and his cock was hard and desperate.

Tony could be Tony later. He would think about Loki’s words when he woke feeling both fucked out and desperately horny. For now, there were no schemes or nuances or choices-- He was only Loki’s toy.

The waking world was the dream now, and Tony had no interest in returning to it.


End file.
